Dizzy Lets Go

By: Ben Slackenov
August 13, 2004

That’s how she made me feel
i never told her that,
But whenever I hear Gillespie’s swingin’ lines,
It reminds me of Dolly and her quick feet, making me look so good,
My heart and senses perked up like ears on a fox
She could dance all night and i could watch her all night
And when i pulled her back
And she spun into my arms
i could feel the same jolt of emotion
As if holding her in bed after a long love sweat

i don’t know why i had to play the Dizzy CD
i don’t even remember popping it in
The next thing i know,
i’m thumbing through a photo album of Dolly and i
Tears slowly running down my cheeks,
i feel her warmth behind each one
i feel her movement with each horn burst,
The way she would swing my arms when she wanted to go faster,
The way she swayed with me like no other woman could,
The way she would run her hand across my back
As i slacked my arm letting her fall away from me,
So that i could look into her eyes
Then a quick flurry of notes would go rushing by,
And we would let go just long enough to go through a quick drill of steps,
Then swing into a another rush of spins and dips,
It was love in public
And no one could stop us

i can still smell her supple shoulders like perfume
i can still hear her soothing voice under Dizzy’s screaming trumpet
i picture her face and remember each and every gesture
People tell me, “Ben,
It’s not healthy to fall in love like you do and then move on”
i can’t do it any other way
It’s like the music
A man takes the good with the bad
Dizzy never played any bad music,
But whenever i hear him,
i get the best of Dolly and the worst
Her worst was telling me she was leaving for college
She said she was determined to be a doctor
And i didn’t fit into her plans
She didn’t put it exactly like that, but she made it clear,
She was leaving and i couldn’t go with her
i wasn’t angry
i knew this was coming
i held her and she cried
She said she would visit now and then
i said, “Don’t you worry about me
Just get that diploma so i have something to show for my emotional baggage”
She laughed and said, “Ben,
You never even tried
You just loved me”
i said, “Sweet-heart, i just can’t do it any other way”

Dizzy plays like a mad man
He lets it all go
His cheeks didn’t get that way holding back
He plays notes that his fingers never touch
How people can go through life without letting go i can’t imagine
When that man lets go,
No one can stop him

i take a drink of my gin
i take a drag off my cigarette
i let the combination move me
i thumb through the album some more
The good with the bad,
i loved it all
The music is just like life
Dizzy got it right every time
How many bad takes
And how many times did the man have to shake his finger at someone
To get his songs so perfect
Some people try for a life time to get one thing right
Some people don’t try at all
Some people accept what ever comes their way
We all take the good with the bad
Just like Dizzy’s music,
Some keep trying and shaking that finger
Some give up and nobody hears from them again
The good ones make the cut
And joke around with the band
Before the big Cadillac comes to take them home
To the great gig in the sky

"Ben's Jazz Poems"